Dawn Donohoo

The other day I posted that I would love for my readers to share their dating stories. Here is one sent by a friend of mine. It is absolutely hilarious. Please read!  His Worst Date Ever

I was actually about to send this to you before your post about dating stories.  This weekend I was reminded of a blind date disaster I had experienced and since you are the dating coach, I thought you could get a laugh from it.  *Disclaimer*  Every bit of this actually happened, this is not exaggerated in any way.  This lovely lady was, a little younger than us and I didn’t know her beforehand.

I am usually very cool with a blind date (albeit a little more cautious now) the setter-upper knows us both well enough.  So when a guy I know through work set me up on a blind date, I cordially accepted.  Her request was for me to pick her up and we would go eat at a restaurant not too far from where I lived.  Sounded simple enough, how could that go too wrong?  On my way to pick her up, about ten minutes from her house, I get a phone call.  It was from a different individual who informs me that this girl did not just ‘move back to town’, she just got out of jail.  He just thought I should know that she had been in jail for a couple of months, it was nothing serious, but to be careful because she might be craving some male company, that she might be a bit antsy.  Now I’m a pretty calm guy, but I briefly began to panic.  Considering the source of the information and thinking through it logically, my mind quit racing, my pulse slowed and I steered the truck out of oncoming traffic.  Yeah right, I thought, he’s just screwing with me.  Nope.  It was actually much worse than I feared.

I pick her up and the conversation seems normal for the first half hour.  I’ve since discovered that 30 minutes is the approximate amount of time a crazy woman can appear sane on a first date, and yes, you are all some degree of crazy.  But I digress…  Early in the date, as in before the food arrived; she informs me that she indeed had just been released from jail.  Just released as in less than 72 hours released, and that she had been in jail for almost TWO YEARS for MULTIPLE meth and DWI charges.  She had been in an all female facility and I was the first male she had really interacted with at all, and she was definitely after some male interaction.  Now I’m a forgive and forget kind of guy and I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my time but to say the least, I was a tad bit surprised.  It’s quite an accomplishment to shock a guy who has already accepted the fact that you’ve been to the pen for drugs…, that’s tough to do.  At this point I really started to squirm and I desperately wished we had taken separate cars and just gone for a snow cone.  As you have mentioned on your blog, there are many dos and don’ts for a first date.  However, what you have failed to mention is that the cumulative effect of these don’ts, if they are used all together in the correct sequence, may cause your date to experience a level of discomfort he previously found unimaginable.  We went from “I just got out of jail”, to touching me on the hand while talking, to “feeling a connection”, to “I’m home alone tonight”, all in about 10 minutes.  And yes, still no food.  Now I’m sure some guys would just think jackpot and bring on the booze but it scared the crap out of me.  I’m still scared of hot chicks and some bugs (except I’m not that really scared of bugs).  This was before texting was really popular so I couldn’t kill off my grandmother via fake text message to give myself an out.  I was stuck; there was no quick way out.  I hate to for this to be so anticlimactic but I honestly have no memory of the remainder of the date, I guess it’s possible I was slipped a roofie.  She did call a few times over the next few days and I shamelessly screened the call.  Luckily, she got the message and never called again.  There you go, my most awkward personal dating experience, have fun with it!

 

 Thank you so much for sharing your story (keeping his name between the two of us). If anyone else feels inspired to share a fun, crazy or totally romatic story, please email me at dawndonohoo@gmail.com! I look forward to hearing from you!

Tags: blind dates, dating, dating coach, Dawn Donohoo, Men, Relationships, Women, worst dates